Mein Kempf

About half way through this movie I laughed out loud. For those of you who are unaware of the seriousness of the plot, please understand nothing was intended to be funny. Lets get the good stuff errr, good thing out of the way. My roommate pointed out to me that the Nazi’s have sick fits. I mean, those uni’s are pretty sharp. Its funny to me that the most hated group of people in the history of wars, the world, the universe are the Nazi’s but they somehow manage to look the best…hmmmm, isn’t that something to philosophize about.

In the opening scenes of the movie Tom Crusie (TC) sits at a table writing in German. His voice speaks over the action in perfect German while the English subtitles scroll on the bottom of the scene. Then the sub titles stop. Tom starts speaking in his very deliberate voice and that was that. All the Nazi’s speak English, some even with a British accent. Really? Okay, I can deal with this, sort of, I mean I could get past it if there was nothing else horribly wrong with this movie, but it really is the least of its problems.

We already know what the out come of this movie will be. I know nothing about this story but anyone who stayed in school past the third grade knows that Hitler killed himself, so knowing that TC intends to kill Hitler is a bit of a mcguffin, right? So with that out there it becomes a suspenseful story of risks and consequences and we should be so infatuated with these people lives we are glued to the edge of our seats. We have to care about TC or the movie will fall flat very quickly.

Tom Cruise carries out the actions of his character as if he were William Wallace but there is never a moment where I cared about what was at stake or did I ever believe or understand why TC was such a noble German. He has lost a hand, two figures and an eye. He seems to have enough children to field a baseball team and a relief pitcher on the way. He has given his body to Hitler and if he fails this mission his family will be hunted down and executed.
I couldn’t have cared less.

At one point in time I wanted to be JUST LIKE TOM CRUISE. Now that he thinks he can pull of an Oscar performance in every scene I feel bad for the guy and that poor girl he married I used to love on Dawson’s Creek. He was excellent in so many movies, all of which were filmed more than 10 years ago.

The pacing of this movie was the worst. Synger did a good job of telling us some things with action and voice over but all the “emotional” exposition was delivered by a group of respected actors who must have thought they could carry this movie. It takes them 10 minutes to explain something that could have taken a more thoughtful creative director 30 seconds of action to create. TC needed his face time. It’s a shame. This movie has suspense built right into it. Synger has made some amazing movies, but I say, after very careful consideration, skip this piece of shit and thank me for sitting through it for you.