The Collector, written and directed by Marcus Dunstun is about a handyman, Arkin, on the verge of having the unthinkable happen to his wife and young daughter at the hands of a loan shark. He can solve all of his problems if he steals a presumably expensive and/or rare stone from the house he has been working at. While the family of said house is scheduled to be on vacation he attempts to execute his plan. Unfortunately (for us) “The Collector” beat him to it, only not to steal the stone but to (cue scary music) torture the family.
I accept this as the premise, therefore;
I will be manipulated!
I will laugh if you want me to laugh!
I will jump out of my seat if you will just let me!
Give me a reason!
I’m begging you Marcus Dunstan!
But no, you give me The Collector.
I’m a pretty excitable guy. It’s a blessing and a curse alike. My excitable nature allows for me to be taken advantage of and I welcome that. This is part of the reason I love movies and more specifically, scary movies. To me there is nothing better than watching a movie while my whole body tenses up in fear. I have been making a conscience effort, however, to avoid most recent “scary movies” releases. I use quotations here to emphasize the irony. I am not afraid of being scared I just rarely find my self scared or horrified at a recent motion picture aiming to do just that.
This movie, which I will not name again, has no suspenseful moments, poor direction, and offered nothing in the way of a story or a well played out plot. I am searching for something positive to mention but I have nothing. Sometimes a scary movie will succeed in capturing an audience because it is awesomely bad.
This movie is just bad.
My Vote: Appropriately bad enough for 15-year-old girls slumber party. Are you a 15-year-old girl? Don't bother. Rent the ORIGINAL Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
